| Re: Dash |
[09 Nov 2004|02:56am] |
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music |
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The Long Winters- Stupid |
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I am a muse,
And I have found someone new to inspire.
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| All the things you can schmear cream cheese on |
[25 Sep 2004|03:33am] |
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music |
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watching I Love Lucy |
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Just went to the Fall-outs and the Fondas at the Comet Tavern, which is a fantastic dive bar. I love it.
Got a little tipsy. It was fun.
Walked 6 miles at the park this afternoon. Went to the G-store and stocked up on food.
Jamie set up a wonderful wireless network for me (and him) yesterday. Now, his laptop, my laptop, and my desktop are linked together plus we all have internet. It is a beautiful thing to split the bill.
A Starbucks is opening across from my favorite coffee shop, EspressoRoma. I am very scared for its future. The number one evil in America: Walmart. Number two: Starbucks.
Thank you everyone for a great visit back home! At current I am slightly missing home and everyone included in home. But thank God for the city of which is Seattle. Boy, did I miss it.
I miss Katie and Rob. Come home from Missouri. I am in Seattle now. Gees.
My life has been a bit surreal lately. I am trying to tone down the vibrant colors that has been my life recently. Wish me luck. I have decided to start posting more, if only for my own mental masturbation.
P.S. In case there was any doubt, my LJ is pretty much friends only.
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[04 Aug 2004|10:14pm] |
In order to preserve energy
the government has allotted each person
one hundred and fifty seven words per day.
I have begun hailing taxies with just a wave
I point to chicken noodle soup on the wall at lunch.
I am adapting well to the new ways.
I call my lover at midnight.
I say to him proudly,
"I only used 57 words today.
I saved the rest for you."
He is silent,and I see that he has already reached his limit.
I then say, "I love you" eleven and 1/3 times
and then we sit for one hour
and listen to each other breathe.
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| Screw The Aloha State |
[29 Jun 2004|01:40am] |
Eff you! Eff Hawaii!!
I always thought I could make a good nun.
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| Lucero Indeed |
[05 Mar 2004|12:42am] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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music |
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Turbonegro and Pretty Girls Make Graves |
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This is them. For anyone who cares.
Time to turn out the starlight lamp and rest my weary soul.
G'night.
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| Status of my computer: Still Broken |
[27 Jan 2004|10:02am] |
The assertion that there is no truth, is an assertion of truth itself.
I will post more when I have more time or my cable for my computer comes in the mail (any day now...)
I am good. Hope everyone is well!
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| Gratuitous Lyric Post |
[13 Dec 2003|03:34am] |
While I understand that Leonard Cohen wrote the first two verses
and Jeff Buckley died in 1996...
Jeff Buckley rules my world.
I heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the lord
But you don't really care for music, do you
Well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah ....
Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah .... .
Baby i've been here before
I've seen this room and i've walked this floor
I used to live alone before i knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
But love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah ....
Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do you
But remember when i moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah
Well, maybe there's a god above
But all i've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
It's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah ....
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| Still fighting sleep in Seattle |
[13 Dec 2003|03:21am] |
I got home a while ago and I am sitting here with my prize which is leftovers from the Thiager Room. Sooo good. I am nestled in my electric blue chair. I have been cleaning my room and organizing my laundry. I am very tired.
A lit Christmas tree adorns the crown of the space needle. Seems fitting and funny. I love this town.
Tonight was fun. I met a bunch of people out at Hattie's Hat in good ole Ballard then hopped over to this swank upscale bar in lower queen anne. Got home too late but then again when do I not.
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[12 Dec 2003|06:34pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Whiskeytown |
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May I dream and always see your face.
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| Ambivalence and hatred for the Rational Choice Theory am I |
[03 Dec 2003|10:18am] |
I am the Queen of Ambivalence. Sucks. I wanted so badly to come home and visit. It was my life raft after the burden of finals, pressing me ever tighter. Now, I am beginning to regard my journey home as a dirty smelling sock that must be laundered. Christmas has no joy and neither do I. Time to resort to the ever present power of one- myself.
I think some things in life need not be draw up like a term paper. Why aren't people more spontaneous? Why are some people so afraid to put their @sses out? I do it constantly, I figure one of us has to. But I will not this time and my silence can be read however you see fit. Or maybe a should relax and not care? Perhaps, I am caught up in it all and do not see all the reality in its truest form. Money, Distance, Job, Home. All issues to resolve, I agree, but how much talking is really necessary to make the point clear.
Why is it everyone else buys into Rational Choice Theory but me? What about emotion? Love?
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| Tomorrow is my FRIDAY!! |
[26 Nov 2003|12:14am] |
All alone or not, thank goodness I get a break from my two jobs and school. Fan-damn-tastic. A four day weekend- I cannot describe a more perfect thing. YEAH!!
My arm feels sort of numb and painful at the same time. I suppose this is normal. Stupid flu shots.
I have been having bad dreams but I will write about them later for now I must retire my heavy eyelids.
Goodnight! Sweet Dreams!
-Meggers
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| How did it get to be so late? |
[15 Nov 2003|01:48am] |
I was planning to fill everyone who still cared in on my life but after writing Dav my hands are now frozen. I had to move my BRAND NEW computer into the living room (where my roommate's dial up jack is) and there is no heat on in here therefore its freezing! But my heater is on in my room so I must take my computer back there and retreat sooner than later. So I will touch on the highlights...
I work as a nanny in Seattle
I have a B average in all my classes so far (I know I should have an A average but this is the UW and the quarter is not over yet)!
I am going to see Built to Spill tomorrow. I saw Cory Branan earlier this week. And before him Tyler Keith and the preachers kids and before them LUCERO and before them Erin Mckeown and Trailer Bride and well you get the point...I've been going to lots of shows.
It doesn't rain in Seattle
It has already snowed once
Bars close at 2am though the school library stays open 24 hours
We actually have seasons here.
Seattle has Naked Sushi. You can eat sushi off a naked woman saturday nights at midnight here. Not kidding.
My southern accent is considered an "asset".
Did I mention my hands are freezing? You know the only reason I am still babbling at this point is because I'm too tired/lazy to lug my comp back to my room!
I will graduate this summer.
I am coming home for christmas.
I have made friends- Kate and Tove.
My roommate joined a Frat and now (in case he didn't before) sucks
There were riots in Seattle a couple a months ago. They were a street over and believe it or not I slept through the whole thing!
Has anyone seen "Happy Accidents"?
My eyes are itching and my contacts feel like glass. Time for bed. Goodnight everyone! Sorry it took me forever to update! Maybe, just maybe, I haven't been forgotten.
Gees, shards of glass in my eye.
And to all a good night.
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[12 Jun 2003|12:23am] |
I am so tired of apologizing. I tired of being sorry for things I don`t do, things I do, things I say, things I don't say, reactions I have, reactions I don't have. I tired of regretting every move I make. I tired of trying to see the future to try and pro-actively not make the same mistake twice. I am so tried of carefully or obliviously making choices. Either I give them too much thought or not enough. There is no gray.
I am tired of making mistakes.
I am tired of making excuses of why I am so late constantly. I am flawed. I have no concept of time.
I am tired of trying to wear myself out each night so I can sleep. I know I need to calm down and relax but I can't.
Seeing you number on my caller id makes me cringe. I remember the bloodshed I caused between us and I feel guilty. Feel guilty for what? The fact that you became an ass because of your guilt for cheating on me? Feel guilty for that fact your alcoholism led you to hit on other girls right in front of me? Feel guilty for sending you for from my reach?
Moving on to a different person...I want to call you and tell you I had a bad day. Tell you I don`t feel like being alone and that the only thing that would make me happy right now is to crawl in your bed. But you have a real job...you have to be up at 6:30 and you probably wouldn't appreciate my company.
Everything is changing for the better. But I am still feeling the earth move beneath my feet. I feel alone. I haven't been reaching out much lately. The pressure of moving, saving, and being me are wearing away at me.
I think I need to work harder at the task at hand and stop having so much spare time to pick apart my life and my life`s work. Instead of complaining put in some more hours at the office or the gym or with my friends. Whom I feel like I don`t really talk to too much anymore which is my fault. These days I am the world's worst at returning phone calls. I feel like a bad friend too. I could say, "Where has everyone gone?" But I should be asking, "Why have I not made an effort?"
Enough.
I need to sleep…
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| Insanity |
[24 May 2003|02:50pm] |
My Night- Insane. Insanity.
It will take at least a week to recover.
Blah.
Maybe I can elaborate later...Maybe.
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| The Deed is Done |
[21 May 2003|02:08am] |
The paper has been mailed off.
I now feel empty. I feel like I let go of something so personal. I feel as though I have hung cutlets of flesh out to dry on a closeline.
Was I really ready to dredge up such things?
I drove to the HAM tonight to see Ang. It felt so liberating to speed down the interstate with the windows down. My hair restrained by two pigtails. Music deafening me as I drove.
It was very good to hang out with her.
In life, I feel as though I have been speeding towards a stop sign. I feel like every part of my being is slamming against a concrete wall. Like every obstacle towers above me. I try my damnest and then suddenly I hit brick. I do not understand it. For every step forward, I take three back. What kind of life is this? I feel defeated but that is just for now.
I am tired of wearing a pasted smile across my face. It hurts to hold it there and it is beginning to show. I am beginning to let the lose ends drag.
The die has been cast for me to leave this god forsaken town. Who am I to stop destiny for reasons of doubt? No, I must leave. I have been faltering to the point where I must. Who I am to stop the wheels of fate, anyway?
I am bittersweet with thoughts of the NorthWest. Am I ready? Should I go? Would it be a grave mistake? Returning defeated to this town would be worse than not leaving. Far worse.
If I could stop second guessing myself, I would be much happier. It is sad to constantly consider yourself inadequate. Makes for a very unfilling life.
Doubt is for certain my worst enemy. The bastard.
Can I please run far away?
Please?
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| Completion Anxiety |
[18 May 2003|06:13pm] |
I am about to give birth to my ticket(hopefully)to the University of Washington. I am faxing it off Monday afternoon to Seattle. I have worked so hard on it. The prepositions. The content. So very hard. I hope I get admitted. I have a 1 in 5 chance of getting in. I originally thought it was 1 in 3 but that statistic would be right if I lived in the state of WA and since I don't it is 1 in 5.
I took non-prescription meds late last night to help me sleep and I slept until late late afternoon. Where did my whole day go?
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| Anticipation |
[09 May 2003|01:41pm] |
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I have a date with Joshua tonight. I haven't seen him since Monday morning when he left me lying in bed while he went to work. I am very excited.
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| 60 Dollar Tequila |
[09 May 2003|06:14am] |
60 Dollar Tequila and us. Not so much a good combo it seems.
Too bad. Seemed like a good idea.
On my drive home my contacts turned street lights into stars.
Now it is past the point of bed.
I can't believe the sun is coming up and I just got home.
I was suppose to be home at 12.
Damn the rising sun.
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